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Learning and trying to be kind and living my life as fully as I can stand it.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Unedited #2

I started writing a post about white privilege last week after the non-indictment decision in the Michael Brown case but got tangled up in the words and put it away, vowing to finish it later.

Speaking of unfinished posts I have the following:

-One about all the crying that was happening in my house one day during the four week sick-fest that included Hand, Foot, Mouth disease, croup, a trip to the ER, a random cold, sickness in both parents and our baby-sitter plus her roommate and also maybe her kids, and almost a month of non-stop diarrhea and diaper rash/yeast infection in the little babies. So that happened. It was not sweet.

-Another post about another scream-heavy day during which some neighbors who had twin boys in August stopped by. We'd met them back in April (maybe? some month before June) at a neighborhood party. I knew we were due around the same time but I couldn't remember their names nor where specifically they lived so I had no way of finding them. I think I drove by them once but I was in the van with all four babies and the idea of randomly pulling to the side of busy Clayton Road to jump out and semi-accost some semi-strangers with two newborns in blue blankets seemed less than ideal. SO. They somehow knew how to find us and stopped by during an atrocious 49'ers game and sat down on our dog-hair-covered rug to chat for a while. The look of relief on their faces when I told them how much the first couple months suck with newborn twins was immense. The mom said "Oh THANK YOU for saying that. We thought we were the only ones" So that post got started and never finished. . .

-A post where I started writing my parenting manifesto which includes a list of seven things (numbered) that feel important to me as a parent. I envisioned making a complete list which would at the very least give me something to laugh at and roll my eyes at in a few years. But I got overwhelmed by how hard it was to put things into words so I saved the draft and haven't gone back

-A post entitled "Tell me what you want baby cuz I got what you need" in which I explore the difference between wanting someone/something and needing someone/something.

-A post that is somehow about buying our house but also about how much I love San Francisco and my feelings about the suburbs. . .

-A post that starts with "My fingernails are jagged and too long" (that sounds like one people are clamoring to read) p.s. I also just spelled clamoring "clammering". Sigh. Jesuit educators around the world are cringing at how far I've fallen. I blame Spanish and spellcheck

-A post about how important the women in my life are

-A post about how to talk to kids about current events

-And a post about a trunk show I hosted in August that I think was going to be about making time for things that are important to me but I'm not sure because that was August and I can barely remember yesterday

Speaking of remembering I brought up dream feeds with my husband two nights ago and started explaining how the twin listserve talks about how they can be a good bridge for helping babies sleep though the night and he said "Yeah, I know we did those with Lily and Cyrus". And I stared at him blankly because even after he said that I had absolutely no recollection of ever doing that with our older twins who are only 18 months old. I hope I write some good things in this blog to help my kids see aspects of their childhoods because it doesn't seem like I will be recounting many stories to them. It's all a blur!

There are 8 more posts still in draft form--the list of drafts is so long it didn't even fit on one page. So it appears I need to finish some thoughts? Let go of some fear and perfectionism? Edit less? Not sure. But there are lots of words hanging in the ether.

What do you want to know about? It can be any of these or something new. Poke me with a proverbial stick please.


1 comment:

  1. No poking, proverbially or otherwise. Glad to hear what you've got to say on any and all topics. You could have spelled it "clambering".

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