Disneyland

We took the kids to Disneyland but what I want to talk about is sleep. We joined a gym last month, as a family, in part because they have a decent-seeming day-care but what I want to talk about is sleep. I do not have a one-track mind but thoughts of bedtime creep into all sorts of spaces these days.

Before we left for Disneyland it seemed like we were starting to make some progress in the bedtime routine, which is essentially Cry It Out, Toddler Edition. Which feels like a gyp because sleep training more than once sucks. Which may be a reason not to do it, but I'm not there yet.

Six weeks had passed since the cribs went away and almost every night since had included screaming and crying and multiple wake ups. We kept changing things, little things and bigger things, and it kept being bad. So we decided we needed to pick something and stick with it, crying bedamned. We told them, the Bigs, that we would be locking the door. Even though they say "Don't lock it!" before we walk out, which is heart-wrenching. Even though the thought of someone locking the door when I'm sleeping in there makes me claustrophobic. We didn't get them out, even if they cried and screamed. Which they did, though really mostly one of them did. We left the door locked all night and would unlock it around 5 am, expecting one or both of them to walk back to our bed at some point and sleep another hour or so there. It was getting decent. At least to the point where I didn't actively dread bedtime. At least I think that's how it felt. . .a week has passed and I can't remember because it's bad again.

In Disneyland the six of us slept in one room--the little twins each in a pack n play, and one of the big twins in each queen bed with a parent. Cyrus and I had a four night slumber party and that kid slept like a baby. Or like another type of being that actually sleeps deeply. . .like a cat. We all went to bed at 8 pm and slept until 6 when we would start waking up and head to the park for a magic hour. We napped together, though my husband and I would take turns sneaking out for a little alone time during nap time. The point is, there was not one second of fuss over bedtime. It was the best part of a really fun trip. The Magic Kingdom provided many moments of magic for us--the kids loved it and only got scared a couple times. I smiled many times but the pure, sweet moments came every time I would wake up in our family room, see the smudged bright lights of California Adventure reflected in our window through the open curtains and hear the quiet breathing of every member of my family. Such peace.

I have more to write but there's a pile of sand on the kitchen floor, a blender full of broccoli puree on the counter and a series of other tasks to be at least contemplated during this hour of no children. I've missed this space and all of you who read. I'll be back soon.