A Day Without A Woman

Today is International Women's Day--a day I don't think I've recognized in any real way before now and a day whose history I know little about. I will add it to my list of things to look up and read about--the list is growing longer every day.

The Day Without A Woman strike was organized by the national group who put on the Women's March Womens March (this link is to the national group) which I did not participate in for a variety of not-very-great reasons and which received a lot of fervent accolades and fierce criticism. Many of my friends (almost all female) participated in the marches on January 21 and most of the accounts from those I knew who were there in person were uplifted, inspired, empowered. The criticism and commentary I followed most closely was shared by women of color. It focused on the ways in which feminism is not intersectional. It called out the ways in which a bunch of privileged white women marching a day after the inauguration of a president who received an embarrassing and unacceptable number of votes from white women did nothing for them. I had a lot of personal, emotional reactions which can be summarized as sad and angry that I hadn't made it a priority to be there and triggered, defensive and sad at some of the criticism. I didn't write about any of those feelings because I was busy listening and paying attention and because my personal life was a mess. Anyone looking at a calendar while referencing some recent blog posts might notice that my pit of depression spent binge-watching Scandal began not long after this event.

When I thought about whether or not I would strike today I asked myself how I could participate and be most in line with my values. Which are:

-Women working and standing together is essential, to me and to the world
-Feminism is not separate from racism and we white women need to do better
-An imperfect event can still be necessary and valuable
-Showing up in person is a big deal

One of my friends posted this article, about how the march was mostly going to be a march for privileged women. Privilege

I am very privileged. On International Women's Day I am employed and my family and I do not need my job to survive. (My mental health is more stable as a result of being employed). I am a full-time, benefited employee so I have the option of taking a sick day. My kids were taken care of by a caring, reliable woman and friend. My house was cleaned today by three women who immigrated to this country with their families.

On Monday I thought about how or if I would take the day off. I'm not sure why I didn't think about it more seriously before Monday but probably because I'm not much of a planner and at most I have a sense of what's happening a day or two in advance. My husband and I sat in the kitchen and talked about it. I work an hourly job and am scheduled many weeks ahead of time. To email my boss on Monday saying I planned to not work on Wednesday would put many people in a tricky position. I would not be granted PTO that late in the game--two days notice is not enough time to cover the schedule and I would have been expected to ask sooner. I had the option of trying to get someone else from my team to cover my shift but that didn't seem useful to anyone. I also wasn't sure what the response would be if I were honest. If I said I was not going to come to work as part of a strike, would I be fired? Would it be desertion of duty? I wasn't totally sure and I was scared to find out.

The other option, and the one most people probably use when something comes up that they didn't anticipate, was to call in sick the day of. I didn't want that to be the way I got out of work for the strike--it would be sending no message and it would be putting more work on my team and would potentially be disadvantaging the families we serve. I wanted to attend the speeches at City Hall in San Francisco SF Event but I decided to take my chances and hope I didn't get called out to a case. I appreciated this article which gave ideas of how to participate for people not able or not willing to take the day off and was prepared to participate one way or another. How to Spend the Day Without Women If You Can't Take The Day Off

It worked out in my favor and I got to stand in front of the steps of beautiful City Hall and watch my sister, the public relations lead for the SF Women's March group, coordinate the ten or so female speakers who showed up to speak to the crowd. I stood in the sun with my mom, a lifelong activist, both of us wearing red. I watched and felt as more and more people, mostly women, gathered. There were signs. There was red lipstick, red boots, red dresses, red t-shirts. Babies in red. There was a tiny speaker which didn't turn on until exactly 11. The woman who opened the event was a young Ohlone who began with a tribal yip and told us she was there to honor the land of the indigenous people we were all standing on. People shouted at her to use the mike and my sister strode out and held up her hands, her fingers. She told us we had four more minutes until the mike would be turned on and asked us to cheer or chant or wait patiently until then. We did. I didn't record the whole thing because it occurred to me too late but here is a bit of her song.

The other speakers were City Supervisors, the President of the Board of Supervisors, the city Controller (I think that's her title but not sure)  a union organizer (and mother to my best friend from elementary school), the fire chief in uniform and another high ranking fire fighter (I think she is the Assistant Chief), an Iraqi immigrant artist with her sleeping, infant daughter strapped to her chest, a Spanish-speaking janitor of 20+ years who immigrated illegally.

All women. A mix of ethnicities. A mix of native languages and countries. A mix of ages. Some mothers, some not. Some in vibrant red dresses, some in sweatshirts.

I cried several times. I didn't shout very loudly during the few chants because I am still learning to use my voice in a yell. There were many shouts of "Louder!" from the crowd because the speakers were not powerful enough and because even when many of the speakers felt like they were yelling, and maybe were yelling, they weren't loud enough.

I was so glad to be there.

There is more to write but not tonight.

One more valuable perspective. Why I'm Not Participating in A Day Without A Woman

We have much to do. Much to read. Much to think about. And showing up is good.