25 of 40

Originally written 8/30/16

I'm starting to see it, how fast the time goes. It's been the one consistent comment people have made over the past three years. My husband and I would lay in bed, exhausted and depleted, talking about how it must be true since everyone said it was and wondering at what point we would start to feel that way. I'm starting to see it.

My eldest daughter has such long, beautiful legs. I hesitate to even use the word beautiful because she is so lovely and perfect and I don't want the world to hurt her or judge her or even think of her beauty as something to be commented upon. She is tall and strong and sure and thoughtful and so beautiful it hurts me to look at her sometimes. She's become a kid. I can imagine asking her to walk to the store to pick up some milk. I wouldn't, because she would need to cross streets and talk to strangers and it would be scary for her and way too scary for me. But I can see that she has the ability and the courage to do something like that. The self-possession.

Has it gotten easier? I'm not ready to use that word because it is so far from easy. It keeps changing though and there are more moments of sweetness where the four of them are playing together without fighting, without intervention. We went to a wedding in Sun Valley, Idaho a few weeks ago which deserves it's own post though I might not probably won't get to it. At the reception my son walked past me to gather his sisters as he said "We're going to hang out, Mom."

Oh. Ok. Have fun? When did you turn fifteen?

Several months ago I asked for topics you would like to see written about on this blog. A friend asked/suggested that I describe my kids. I've thought about that often since then. About the reasons I haven't wanted to and still won't. And the reason I do want to and might.