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Learning and trying to be kind and living my life as fully as I can stand it.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

30 of 40

Originally posted 5/26/16

We have a lot of birthdays coming up. A family of Gemini, literally and astrologically speaking. First my mom, then the bigs, then my husband, then the littles, then his mom. Birthday-palooza.

Today was a partial workday for me so I've been reading up on policies and doing some Spanish practice while the kids are with Stephanie. I've also gotten coffee for the house, gotten some blood work done, gone to the bookstore, eaten lunch in a restaurant by myself and gone to Toys R Us.

Toys R Us. . .I've been twice since having kids. It's not my cup of tea, with its aisles and aisles of multi-colored landfill items. Does that sound bitter and harsh? I know, right? Buzz kill mama. It's how I feel though. I just. . .don't want the kids to have a lot of toys. Even though I remember longing for toys when I was little. Seeing commercials and shouting "I want that!" or "That's mine!" Coveting the colorful dolls with many different pieces. My Little Ponies. Barbies. Cabbage Patch Kids. So many to want. So out of reach. I can sing along to the old Toys R Us jingle. . .I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid, there's a million toys something something that I can play with."

We'd sometimes get or see the big fat Toys R Us catalog and turn slowly through its pages. We almost never went.

So I went today to do some birthday shopping while I have some time to myself. I knew what I wanted, more or less. When I got to the desired section I blanched at all the choices. Can't someone just tell me which is the best? Or the. . .best for my kid? How do I decide? My decisions were made based on the apparent quality and my ability to make not glaringly gender-based selections. The only one is pink and covered in princesses and stars? No thank you. There will be time for each of them to be drawn towards characters and colors. . .it's started happening a little. I don't want to sow the seeds myself though.

I stood there and contemplated the options and eventually went back to the front of the store for a cart. These are some big items and I couldn't carry them all. I felt profligate. It felt like a bit too much. But also exciting to imagine how much they will hopefully like our selections. I think. I hope. They're only turning two and three. . .how many gift experiences do you remember from that era of your life?

Still, it's exciting to provide the excitement. To imagine the smiles. To have a chance to spoil these little people I love so much. To think about how much they can do now, and how much they will keep learning. To try to pick things that help them get stronger, help them play in new ways, give them wiggles in their stomachs with the feeling of anticipation. My babies, getting bigger.

My sister and I have our birthdays one week apart. Two years, minus one week. My kids are one year plus two weeks apart plus their birthday twins.

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